Tuesday, 10 April 2012

My Ten Favourite Chuck Norris Factoids

In all honesty there are just too many Chuck Norris factoids, err, facts for me to compile a Top Ten list. But duty calls and the compendium needs to be filled! :P Anyway, it was extremely difficult sorting out which factoid was superior to which so in the end I just decided to remove the order and post all ten of them with equal preference. Oh, and the few that didn't make it on the list have been included under Honourable Mentions.


Top Ten Chuck Norris Factoids

01. When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you can feel it.

02. Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on, he turns the dark off.

03. Some magicians can walk on water; Chuck Norris can swim through land.

04. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

05. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

06. Chuck Norris died twenty years ago; Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

07. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

08. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

09. Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits.

10. Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.

Honourable Mentions

01. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

02. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy. It's a Chucktatorship.

03. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC claiming Law and Order to be trademarked names of his left and right legs.

04. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

05. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Monday, 9 April 2012

The Survivor & The Setter

If there's a keen observation I might have made on this wonderful world of ours and the beautiful people that inhabit it, it's that people can generally be divided into two broad, and distinct, categories. I'm not saying I've made a discovery on the psychological behaviour of why people do things the way they do it, but I've definitely tackled a conclusion all on my own. Regardless of whether similar information may be available on the internet the categories I've come up with are, namely, the Survivor and the Setter.

The Survivor


Survivors are introverted people who, well, survive. Typical characteristics of a Survivor include passiveness, patience, and adaptability. Survivors are people who are generally well-suited to their environment, be it a blistering tundra or a hot desert. A pure Survivor is one who will never alter the environment or the people around him and will, instead, bend his own ways to better suit the changing times. They are peace-loving people known for their neutrality but can also be termed selfish and self-centered by those who may not know them well. Docile by nature they are not too keen on rapid expansion and progress into the unknown and would rather stay at their place of abode and "live and let live."

The perfect example of this kind of behaviour on a marcoeconomic and global scale is the Swiss Confederation, known to the layman as Switzerland. The confederation's foreign policies are entirely peace-driven and Switzerland is popularly known as the nation that never interferes. For the sake of internal stability and external "isolation" Switzerland has managed to make itself neutral from the decisions of the world, more or less. Other global examples include many central European countries (Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Monaco, etc.), the four Scandinavian countries (Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and Finland), as well as the South-East Asian nations.

On a more personal level the Survivor can be anyone you may know who tends to slip into the background during group gatherings or that person who you may find easy to befriend. Such a person would do anything to avoid confrontation, from offering his chair to fetching your cellular phone and letting you through the door first to listening attentively to your troubles or gains. However, it is practically impossible to find or be a pure Survivor. The essence of the Survivor is to go by unnoticed but in our society of extroverts the Survivor may find it difficult sheltering himself from attention. This only makes sense as the "good listener" would be a popular talk among single women who wish for a passive man. Or the "nice guy" could be extremely popular among his peers for always having money on him or always managing to offer a ride home.

Through this perspective no one is a pure Survivor. Also, Survivors tend to leave the decision-making to the Setters (explained below) but through inadvertent sympathy they have the potential to make decisions without ever realising it. For example, you have always gotten up from the computer whenever your better half asked you to do so. However, one day your better half finally notices (or chooses to notice) your obedience and may reward you by letting you stay on for longer. This way, the Survivor has subsequently behaved like the Setter.


The Setter

 
On the other hand we have society's extroverted decision-maker, the Setter. Typical characteristics of a Setter are nearly opposite to that of a Survivor. I write 'nearly' because, just like the Survivor, no one can be a pure Setter. Back to the point; Setters are people who, instead of letting things go the way they were and changing themselves to better suit their surroundings, would rather change the surroundings to better suit themselves. Just like their name suggests, the Setter "sets" things and organises the world to his liking. Born with aggression and a knack for dominance the Setter will never settle for anything below his expectations. These are the people who are known for their charisma and leadership skills but can also be negatively portrayed as dominating and intrusive.

Perhaps the greatest known example of a Setter on a global scale is that of the United States of America. The federal republic, ever since the nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, has played a major role in many of the world's following events including the Cold War, the forming of Israel, and now the War on Terror. Their "nosy" foreign policy has ensured them interference, for the better or worse, on interstate matters of various Middle-Eastern nations as well as the Indian Subcontinent. Their intrusive nature also includes, apparently for the better, North Korea and previously the Gaddafi-regime in Libya.

On a personal scale the Setter is perhaps your boss at work or the bully at school. He can also be the annoying sibling who bosses you around or the over-possessive wife/girlfriend who keeps tabs on everything you do. Pardon me, as I have included a great deal of bias in my description of the Setter-types. On a more unbiased note, they are the men and women who shape the future of mankind. Depicted by the great Godfather, Vito Corleone, the Setters tend to play the elitist role of society by giving out orders and controlling the controllers. Again, no one can be purely the Setter type as some decisions are left unmade and under certain circumstances a Setter person may even behave, albiet remotely, like the Survivor person (in that they wish peace).

Well, that's it for my keen observation, if I do say so myself. Interestingly enough this whole idea of Survivor and Setter was purely concocted after I observed the rationale of my younger brother (the middle-child) and myself. Of course, you can clearly see where the bias came from...

Which type do you feel yourself to be?

Winter Has Finally Come!

The second season of the highly acclaimed television series, Game of Thrones, finally aired on April 1, 2012. The series is based off of George R.R. Martin's fantasy novel series, A Song of Ice and Fire, and the first season vividly depicted the events of the first book. Not many film/television adaptations of novels turn out successful or do justice to the books but HBO's David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have managed to accurately display the main events in the book as well as adding minor, detailed events. It's too bad the second season doesn't include Sean Bean but with five families vying for the Iron Throne of the Seven Kingdoms and the White Walkers sprucing up trouble beyond the Wall the second season promises to excel the first in every aspect!

Well, I'm off to download the first episode of season two. Until next time.

P.S. I've changed the blog's background temporarily just to commemorate the airing of the second season of Game of Thrones. :D

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

The Year In Review: 2011 (pt2)

Now where was I...? Oh yes! I had just finished reviewing the first half of 2011 and was about to continue with the second half when unforeseen circumstances took the best of my time and I had to cut short (that, and the entry was a bit too much to read). I left the last entry hanging at the part when I returned to Pakistan (albeit, reluctantly) from my wonderful trip to Japan.

The timing couldn't have been any better as I returned to Pakistan five days into the Islamic month of Ramadan (a holy month in which Muslims keep fasts). I came home exactly when the Sehri (opening meal of a fast) was about to start. My joyous parents suggested I not keep a fast that day as I was tired (though not jet-lagged) but I insisted on fasting (partly to fulfil a religious obligation, and partly to brag about my endurance). After the opening meal I unpacked and unravelled all the gifts and presents I bought from the Land of the Rising Sun for my family (aren't I a sweetheart?). For my brother I brought a shiny iPod Touch back-cover (with Batman's emblem emblazoned on it), a new PlayStation 3 video-game (Vanquish), and traditional Japanese underwear (he insisted). For my youngest brother I brought a super-cool ninja mask along with a plastic kunai and shuriken, a wooden katana (small size), and an intricate Japanese 3D jigsaw puzzle. Aside from a few boring things for my parents I also bought large bars of Meiji chocolate for everyone! And boy were they delicious!

That was the month of August for me (I also got my AS-Level exam results). September came and went, showing the occasional seasonal symptoms of winter. October started with my birthday on the fourth! ... But, sadly, the month kept me busy with midterm preparation. My friends, too, were busy with either their midterms or their SAT's due in November/December. I didn't mind the come-and-went birthday. Similarly, November was filled busy schedules (tuitions, group-studies, etc.). I know this seems boring (and the following might scare you) but the studying in those months was actually fun - a kind of fun rarely felt. It felt good to surf through the course books, absorbing waves of knowledge, and then pouring it down on revision questions for your own sake. No teacher to guide me; just me and my books all alone wrestling it out. Midterms followed soon after and as soon as they had finished, the planning and organising of a friend's birthday as well as a party on New Year's Eve began!

On the 23rd of December I went to a popular beach in Karachi known as Hawk's Bay. Unlike Sea View (a beach located in the city), Hawk's Bay was a two-hour drive from my house and was situated in a relatively isolated place - all the better. The beach also has crystal-clear waters and clean sands (save for a few thorns and plastic bags - that's Karachi for you). Dubbed the Beach Party, my friend's birthday party was a blast! With only five guys (including me) and fourteen girls we partied for a good five hours. The hut we rented was two-storied and had a great interior (an unkempt kitchen and a living room of sorts). Everyone spent the first hour inside the hut; getting beach-ready, listening to loud music on the stereo, and trying to puff out O's with smoke-rings. After that we fled for the warmth of the sun and the cool of the sea water. Initially, us guys didn't wish to get wet but the girls took advantage of their greater number and reeled us in like fishing poles. After a long while of splashing in the water (and playing Marco Polo) as well as lying on the hot sand under the sun, we retreated back to our hut and popped some bottles.

The birthday boy treated us all to several bottles of beer and a large bottle of scotch. ^_^ It was hilarious seeing everyone else get drunk (I managed to not overdo it) and it was even funnier when everyone entered the shower room to clean themselves from the sand. The beach party was a hell of a lot of fun and it was a shame that New Year's Eve wasn't half as much fun. Originally we planned to attend a dance party that started at 11PM and lasted all the way till 6AM. It got cancelled only because stags (single men, sometimes even women) weren't allowed. We had dates... only they had permission issues. <_< Instead we ended up going to a diner (just the boys) and feasting till midnight with the final countdown to 2012! :D

And, thus, ended the wonderful year of 2011. A year that brought lots of joys in unexpected places (:P) and different turns for the better. Looking forward to a hopeful new year.

Monday, 2 January 2012

The Year In Review: 2011 (pt1)

I remember the year 2011 like it was only yesterday...

Good riddance 2011, and hello 2012! Although I have to admit last year was one of my most productive and happiest years yet. I'm going to start my new year with a review of the previous year's ups and downs.

2011 started like any other year: gunshots and rounds of ammunition fired at the sky by enthusiastic celebrators of the new year, or perhaps troublemakers (and many other profound names) with no sense of discipline according to my grand-daddio. But who could've guessed that 2011 would be the year of accomplishments for me? Going chronologically, the past year had started off with the reopening of college after a short-lived winter break. Aside from the dreaded first day of school the year began with many students' worst nightmare: result day. Thankfully, however, the results weren't of our final term examinations but of mere midterm exams which hardly anyone takes seriously (including the college itself). But if there are any organic entities existing in this world of ours who would take a midterm result more seriously than someone's dire death its got to be my dear parents. My oh-so-dear parents who would flare up at the sight of a "B" grade (and don't even think about what they do if its any lower).

My results came in and they were surprisingly decent: straight C's in three A-Level GCE subjects (they're mighty tough) and an A in English (an extra subject given simply for tehlulz). My parents know what to expect from me in English so they take any other subject by the collar until I don't perfect it. So, skipping the part where they erupted like Mt. Vesuvius on me after I proudly showed them my above-average midterm results, lets get on with the rest of the year in review!

Like any volcano my parents' anger softens up into tolerance of my existence within mere days (it used to be weeks, and even months, when I was littler). Life went back to the way it should be: college in the morning on weekdays, playing video-games throughout the afternoon, attending any scheduled tuition programs, and finally ending the day with either a film-night or reading a favourite book in the peaceful solace of my humble abode. I make time for my social circles in the weekends: hanging out with a large group of multi-dimensional friends at a popular eatery/gaming zone/cinema; inviting a closer group of a few friends over at my house for dinner/multiplayer video-game sessions/mere conversation; or even spending some intimate time with a certain someone. My life's pretty much an average who-gives-a-shit.

After my Mock Final Examinations ended horribly in March my time was mainly spent on preparing for the actual Final Examinations in May which go all the way till June. I'm sure nobody's interested in reading about exam preparation or even how a student fights his way through the battlefield of academics to finally achieve his/her ultimate goal: freedom (temporary but, hey, gotta' count the blessings in life too). Sadly, however, my summer break started with a breakdown in my preferred video-game console of choice: Sony's black behemoth, the PlayStation 3. Due to overuse, all-night downloads, and frequent power cuts (something of a routine in my city), not to mention tipsy voltage, my PS3 finally died on me to the dreaded Yellow Light of Death (I'm sure any gamer can identify with this not-so-common console failure). I would have proposed a proper funeral but decided not to since the console made for a very expensive-looking decoration piece.

All was not gloomy for my summer break meant one very important thing: a trip to Japan! I had been wanting to visit the Land of the Rising Sun ever since I was a wee-lad. The fondness ("obsession" according to some) sprouted in me after I grew an unstable likeness to Pokemon's animated series. Eventually growing out of the craze (but mostly because Misty was dropped out of the series - WTF!?) my interest in Japan evolved into many other things: culture, history, mythology, anime/manga, video-games, technology, language, and to a certain extent the girls (Yellow Fever, anyone?). Anyway, my dream was finally materialising and I could finally hurl a "Ha! I told you so!" at the faces of all those family members who ever doubted my goal! Reaching out to the Consulate of Japan to make me a tourist visa wasn't an easy feat (being Pakistani, I face various disadvantages in getting visas) and Osama bin Laden's apparent death in Abottabad (some city in north Pakistan) didn't make things any easier! But after some rigorous petrol-burning to and from the Consulate, signing some papers, and giving an interview, I finally got my tourist visa.

I went to live in the city of Sapporo (situated in the island of Hokkaido - north Japan) with a dear friend. I stayed in the country for a month; experiencing its culture, weather, people, lifestyle, and attractions. Also, the locals have a kind of friendliness that defies the norm. I never felt homesick over there but in fact missed it when I returned to Pakistan - my birthplace. I also got to stay in Tokyo for two days and two nights before my departing flight! ^_^ I'd love explaining my entire trip but a subject so wide deserves an entry of its own. Perhaps if I get the time I'll write all about it (with pictures!) later.

And so ends Part One of my review of 2011, a year we all knew and loved. I'll make some time later to post about the second half of last year (August to December) in vivid detail. I wish you all a Happy New Year! May 2012 be a year of solutions and opportunities.